WHAT WE’VE LEARNT – OUR ADOPTION BLOG
Welcome to our little blog. We wanted to share some of our thoughts, experiences and things that we’ve learnt being adoptive parents, in the hope that it can help others. There will be all sorts of things in here about courses we’ve been on, books we’ve read, money saving tips along with general updates about the site.
In a few places, we will talk about certain things that we’ve bought as gifts or were gifted to us, we’ve linked to those in the adoption gifts section of the site as well for ease of reference in case anything interests you.
This page shows our 5 latest blogs, you can see more by following the ‘Older Entries’ link at the bottom of the page.
Well I don’t know about you, but I’m certainly enjoying the summer like weather we’ve been blessed with this last few days! Certainly our kids have thoroughly enjoyed it too! The other day they actually had their 1st Day going to school WITHOUT a coat! They squealed with delight!
This is an interesting topic given that in some ways as I feel that in we’ve not come far in respect of external service providers….. especially as on Friday we’re having a practitioners meeting with Post Adoption SW’s, the School, Owl’s life story counsellors etc….. trying to secure some extra counselling, funding help…. Anything for Owl. These discussions have the same lengthy, tiring feel as our approval process!!!
Well I know I’m not alone in struggling with this issue and I know even birth children do it….. but lying has become a habit for Owl. It’s happening on a fairly regular basis, and usually over things that are just ridiculous. Sadly it’s leading to a LOT of distrust with us and Owl. We’re struggling to know when things are lies (white ones, silly ones, BIG HAIRY ones) as Owl is quite adept at it. We tried ignoring it, but the lying’s moved on now…. We’re blaming and involving other people. We’ve tried all sorts of ‘consequences’ and had been up to 10 days no privileges. This had meant 10 days of no: TV, computer time, desserts, extracurricular activities, etc. We tried 1 day no privileges (laughed down and then lied next day), 3 days – this had an effect for perhaps a week or two, when they then lied again (day after receiving punishment) we cranked it up to 5 days. The next time Owl got 5 days we were told ‘No problem that’s too easy’. In desperation we doubled it.
First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all. For us it was actually an amazing Christmas. Full of panto’s, carol services, school nativities, presents and family. I can honestly say it was the best Christmas with Owl & Lark since they arrived!
Having said that……. Here we are in January with all the post-Christmas blues:-( walking on egg shells trying to keep Owl in a calm place so we don’t have any more self-harming. It’s so so SO tiring.
So it’s been a couple of weeks since my last full blog. It’s because we’re going through a really tough time with Owl.
But I don’t really want to chat about that this week ….. I want to chat about ‘the system’.