First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all. For us it was actually an amazing Christmas. Full of panto’s, carol services, school nativities, presents and family. I can honestly say it was the best Christmas with Owl & Lark since they arrived!

Having said that……. Here we are in January with all the post-Christmas blues:-( walking on egg shells trying to keep Owl in a calm place so we don’t have any more self-harming. It’s so so SO tiring.

In my last blog I spent some time talking about the ‘system’ – the adoption system that has so far failed to help us and our kids concretely. I talked about the fact that Owl has started hitting themselves, and worse saying “it makes them feel better”. I mentioned that a post adoption social worker and the trainee social worker would be coming to our house…. And they have done – 2 Times so far. The first meeting I felt was very positive and I thought for a minute perhaps this time it won’t be so bad, they will see the anguish Owl is suffering, they will listen to our concerns and actually put in place some strategies to help Owl and us through this period. How wrong was I?? After the first meeting, they were to contact Owls’ previous counsellors (who as I mentioned are actually at Owls’ school – but who for now are oversubscribed). They were going to bring me information about other possible courses (for Owl, not just me) and there was talk of engaging one of their own trained staff members to help us.

Then they scheduled a 2nd meeting – where all of these services would have been assessed and a plan pulled together to give us an idea of how we could help Owl going forward.

At the second meeting my stomach dropped, my heart missed a few beats…. There they were again saying ‘We’ve not been able to speak to the school/counsellors’, ‘We’re still accessing Owl’s file to better understand their needs’ [clearly the inference being that my requesting and detailed descriptions of what we’re going through, and where they came from was not enough] and the courses won’t be offered as this time round they are holding them for older kids and Owl doesn’t qualify.

A third meeting has been set {to be fair originally this was supposed to be right at the start of the new year – but thanks to a bout of the norovirus and chicken pox in our little nest it was postponed!!!!}. But I’m not holding my breath we’ll be any further along. It’s now been almost 3 months since we reached out for help.

Here we go again…. More merry dances with social workers, counsellors, funding discussions and lest we not forget a report must be written asking for and recommending a support plan which may or may not then be approved……

So whilst social services continue to spin, we dangle….. trying all sort of stuff to help Owl cope.

Owl’s resilience, their self-esteem is at such a low right now they are crying on quite a regular basis in front of friends, at parties, at school which in turn has meant some of the other kids have noted it and started commenting. We of course are dealing with that and with the school directly, but in the interim Owl struggles on and we pray some help will be forth coming.

So what have we learned this week….. well that it’s not only Owls’ resilience that is being tested. We too need to stay strong to get to secure the long term support Owl needs. Give me strength:-)

 

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